Since yesterday was Mother’s Day, I didn’t focus on “work."
AND NO…. nothing in the mail from Bobby.
How annoying. I am not only trying to get answers to his case and see what he may say about his victims but I also want to know what life is like for him now that he has been moved from Union to Florida State Prison and is on suicide watch.
I know that his tablet was taken away. I am thinking about that one. Not that it matters to me one way or the other but why take it? Is it because he can use it to harm himself? He does not have access to the outside world other than on JPay and his music/book app. Not like he is able to see what the media or public is saying about him.
Honestly, I don’t think Bobby would harm himself. I think he is too self-absorbed for that and maybe not “strong” enough for that. I do not mean that lightly. I can’t think of a better way to say that, that doesn’t come across like an academic. What I mean, is that Bobby has a pattern of avoiding situations that might cause him pain or harm or …. mmm a situation where he is not the one in control.
If you listen to our podcast, then you heard the story of the home invasion where his parents were tied up and robbed. Bobby hid in his bedroom the entire time.
Fast forward to this month and Bobby refuses to make the 2 hour and 45 minute drive from Raiford to Tampa for his court hearing. Why? Because being bound and shackled would be tantamount to torture.
These may not be scientific reasons or validation that he would never hurt himself but I think he enjoys playing games with others entirely too much to give up the game early. Remember these are my thoughts and ramblings at a specific moment. I may and probably will change my mind a thousand times within the next week and a half.
This is just a weird, messed up situation that I have put myself in. I love to explore and figure things out but when you know that finding the light at the end of the tunnel probably will not happen…. I go from wanting to pick at him all the harder, to asking why I continue to write him and play the game.
Won’t matter for much longer.